Harder than hard
I feel like I'm going to break soon.
I've had trouble sleeping the last few nights; I either lie in bed staring at the ceiling, or I keep waking up all the time. The room reminds me too much of her; I see her everywhere I look.
This naturally means I'm always tired at work. After two days, I think it's becoming obvious I keep dozing off. It's come to the point where I have to hide in the toilet to try and take a nap. I think it's merely a matter of time before I get reprimanded again. It might even be an official warning this time.
I've also totally lost my appetite. Food just makes me feel sick. I'm skipping breakfast and lunch, and forcing myself to eat dinner just so I have enough energy for tomorrow. I'm always hungry, but that's nothing compared to everything else.
Work performance has also plunged. I'm starting to cut corners, and still I'm moving too slowly. I just can't get myself to concentrate. My mind is always wondering, getting distracted by other things, thinking of her. I just basically count down the hours till going-home time. This obviously also doesn't impress anyone in the office.
A couple of my colleagues pointed out today that my eyes were red. I told them they were feeling dry. How do I tell them it's because I'm struggling to keep from crying?
Work, though, is probaby the best part of my day. Even though I constantly think of her, the only thing that actually reminds me of her is how I used to text and call her when I went for morning break and lunch. Which is why I generally avoid going for morning break and lunch now. I tell the others it's because I'm on a diet. Let them laugh; it's easier than admitting the true reason.
The rest of the day, from getting off work to going back to work the next day, is simply a fuckfest of reminders. Waiting at the bus stop reminds me of how I used to call her from there. Going to any of my hangouts reminds me of when we used to hang out there. The whole house reminds me of her.
I guess that's why I've been drinking every night. Why I'm drinking now. For a short while each night, I can imagine we're still talking, that she's just a phone call away. That she'll actually pick up.
This is Day 3.
Welcome to my life.
I've had trouble sleeping the last few nights; I either lie in bed staring at the ceiling, or I keep waking up all the time. The room reminds me too much of her; I see her everywhere I look.
This naturally means I'm always tired at work. After two days, I think it's becoming obvious I keep dozing off. It's come to the point where I have to hide in the toilet to try and take a nap. I think it's merely a matter of time before I get reprimanded again. It might even be an official warning this time.
I've also totally lost my appetite. Food just makes me feel sick. I'm skipping breakfast and lunch, and forcing myself to eat dinner just so I have enough energy for tomorrow. I'm always hungry, but that's nothing compared to everything else.
Work performance has also plunged. I'm starting to cut corners, and still I'm moving too slowly. I just can't get myself to concentrate. My mind is always wondering, getting distracted by other things, thinking of her. I just basically count down the hours till going-home time. This obviously also doesn't impress anyone in the office.
A couple of my colleagues pointed out today that my eyes were red. I told them they were feeling dry. How do I tell them it's because I'm struggling to keep from crying?
Work, though, is probaby the best part of my day. Even though I constantly think of her, the only thing that actually reminds me of her is how I used to text and call her when I went for morning break and lunch. Which is why I generally avoid going for morning break and lunch now. I tell the others it's because I'm on a diet. Let them laugh; it's easier than admitting the true reason.
The rest of the day, from getting off work to going back to work the next day, is simply a fuckfest of reminders. Waiting at the bus stop reminds me of how I used to call her from there. Going to any of my hangouts reminds me of when we used to hang out there. The whole house reminds me of her.
I guess that's why I've been drinking every night. Why I'm drinking now. For a short while each night, I can imagine we're still talking, that she's just a phone call away. That she'll actually pick up.
This is Day 3.
Welcome to my life.
He sketched at 9:15 pm
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