It's time

Remember to take care

She left me a reminder on my phone, which triggered last night. Tonight's one told me not to go peek at all the other ones. It's sweet, even if it does serve to make me miss her more.

I don't know why I've been putting it off, but I guess the time has come to once again become a "productive member of society". The real wake-up call (slap) was when I was talking over msn with one of my close friends and he said "it's not like you to let stuff like this affect your work".

And he's right, of course. They're all right. I don't know why I've let myself slide down this far. I'm stronger than this, dammit. Always have been. I guess it might be because there wasn't really an actual transition period between being with her, and being without. Saturday was pretty much just a normal day, then on Sunday I was suddenly alone.

But enough's enough. Once again, it's time for me to decide: do I want to keep being like this? I guess the answer's obvious.

Man, if she actually saw me now, she'd probably be quite disappointed.

I guess deciding not to drink tonight actually helped. Everything feels a little clearer, and not so hopeless.

In a way, I guess it'll always hurt, for the rest of this time apart. As it should, I suppose. But being in pain does not make us helpless (Stover again).

So...no drinking myself silly anymore. After this, I'll try to get some sleep, and tomorrow it's off to work again. It's the last day of the work week, let's see if we can't go out with a bang.

Day 5, slowly getting better.