Confusion

I hate this. I really do.

No matter how much I try, I just can't stop thinking about her. Even when I'm out with other friends, "having fun" etc. I just can't help it.

In a way, this is an improvement over last time. Nowadays it's more of a "back of the head" kind of thing. She's always there at the semi-conscious level. But I'm still fully aware that I'm thinking of her. And of how much I miss her.

And she still messages me every few days. It hurts when she uses her "friendly" tone, as if she really isn't affected by anything. And everytime she messages or calls me, I'm faced with a dilemma as to whether I should reply/pick up.

Will it be easier for me if I simply ignore her for now, or if I continue "being friends"? I don't know if it makes a difference to her either way.

But it does to me.

a change in the script

One lonely Labour night, two people who had never been together walked apart.
One left in search of freedom; the other, a lonely heart.
The decision had been his; the burden was great.
And so, once again, he settled down to wait.

...i'll always miss you...see you when you're ready...